Written for my 50th, love it, thanks Paul Martin.
To our Patty
we say Happy Birthday once more,
She's Patricia Anne with an E,
But to us she's just our Patty.
But not just I must say she much more than that,
She's a modern woman,
A woman for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.
postmodern, politically correct deconstructionist,
She's a diversified, multi cultural, modernist non-delusionalist,
Politically, anatomically and ecologically correct.
She's a high
tech high life.
downloads, inputs, and never outsources.
cutting edge multi-tasker,
She'll give you a gigabite in a nanosecond.
New wave, but
Her inner child is outward bound,
She's a hotwired, heat seeking, warm-hearted, cool customer.
activated and biodegradable.
She's as cool
as a cucumber.
Always singing a new number.
interfaces with her database,
And her database is cyberspace.
interactive, hyperactive, and radioactive.
Never behind the eight ball,
she's ahead of the curve, riding the wave, always pushing the envelope.
point, on task, on message and on the money.
Patty is in
the moment, on the edge, over the top, and always
on our radar.
Still lighting rooms with her smile.
She's a high concept, high profile, long range ballistic marvel.
wise, top gun smart sex bomb,
An enthusiastic critical thinker,
She's Eve not Adam our boat captain on the river out of Eden.
climbs Mount Improbable,
Like a cool cat she flies here and there,
And the world now spins around like a top,
What better than to call it a dance,
Maestro Patty, the choreographer supreme, and the ultimate DJ.
with no personal trainers, no personal shoppers, no personal assistants,
And no personal attitude.
Webmistress with a whip in one hand a feather duster in the other.
Not a raging
workaholic, not a working rageaholic,
Unless she's working on a DVD that is.
totally ongoing, slam dunk, rain maker.
shut her up, you can't dumb her down,
She's tireless, she's wireless.
She's a true
believer, and an overachiever.
Patty is up
front, down home, high rent, and low maintenance, Super sized,
long lasting, high definition, and fast acting.
She's a hands
on, foot loose, knee jerk humanitarian.
She's a fully
equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven,
scientifically formulated biology wizard.
prewashed, precooked, prepackaged, preapproved,
prescreened, post-dated, freeze dried, and always prepared.
She eats fast
food in the slow lane,
free, bite sized, ready to wear, and takes on all.
She's not a
She's the real deal.
Lean, but not
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
rough or tough, yet hard to bluff.
things slow, she goes with the flow,
She rides the tide, she's got glide in her stride.
thinking and tinkering,
Lecturing and debating,
Confronting and challenging.
pushing the pedal to the metal,
She parties hearty,yes we know,
There ain't no doubt,
smashing fours and sixes around the ground.
So Today we're chanting Happy Birthday.
Patty", our mate, our friend, our pal, our buddy and much much more, the
crowd stands to applaud and roars with delight as the commentater yells into
the mike, "She's still at the crease with bat in hand now 50
something not out.